I was cruising a web site called "The Thieves Guild" and I came up on a download for NPC's

I thought it would be cool to see some NPC's and perhaps steal one or two for a small adventure for my grandson.
Ever since he joined me to watch while Mike, Robert, John and I played some D&D (Old School) He has been pestering me to DM a game with him running a thief PC.

Anyway, I have been gathering data and working up a small bit of adventure for him.

One NPC caught my attention for MANY reasons.

I have copied and pasted it without changes below.
Have a good read, and then perhaps we could discuss some things about the data below.................

Lauranna
Cleric Of Mishakal 2nd         Human Female
The Good One

STR 17 (Mus 17/Sta 16), DEX 16 (Aim 17/Bal 20), CON 18 , INT 18  (Rea 16/Kno 18.), WIS 18 (Inn 18/Wil 17), CHA 18. (Lea 18/App 20), COM 22, PER 19

AC -3, hp 10, MV 14, MR 75                AL L-G, Age 19, Height 5'8", Weight 100 lbs

Skin tan, Hair brown, Beard        Eyes blue, Vision ultra (90), Wealth 40 gp

She is a short skinny young lady she is very beatiful. she is the wielder of the blue crystal staff of mushakal you will see wearing her blue robes all of the time unless she has her armor of thor on she loves little kids she hopes to have a couple some day.

Weapons
She has the ble crystal staff of mushakal 1d100 against evil, 1 mace 1d6/1d10, 2 daggers 1d4/1d6/1d10.

Non-Weapons Proficiencies
Climb, Heal, Jump, Bless.

Spell casting
Cure Light Wounds, Bless On Hands.

Special abilities
Run, jump , climb, read other languages, through daggers, catch daggers.

Possessions
2 Daggers,1 mace,backpack, normal clothes, blue robe, boots high and soft, 2weeks rations, 2 small pouches, sling, 12 bullets.

.Notes and History
She is from Narnia she grew up with out knowing who her parents were because they were  killed by the knight wraith lord lance a lot . She is going to avenge there death one day she has healed many people when they were about to die and she has earned a good reputation by doing so she has many folowers she will get along with any body as long as they are not evil. She is  from a small vilage otside of Solace were she met her first friends the evils bane her best friend is a minitour cleric of Myshakal. The evils bane group mis made up of 7 people shintari, Laurana, Jago, kintara, ram ,typhoon ,ninjara .Laurana is the newest one to the group the reason why she got into it is because she was one of the greatest clerics in all of narnia she will avenge her fathers death some day but noww she is on a life death quest with her friends trying to defeat the abyss she will do so if all of her friends combined there power strengh,jutice, wisdom, mischief , intelgence, constution,magic. She has defeated most of the night wraiths but she has never came in contact with the leader of the knight wraiths . But as soon as she defeats the Knight Wraith Lord Lance a lot she is going to go home the she is going to biuld a temple of mushkal with her friend the evils bane destroyer of evil protacter of the good.she is going to go fight the knight wraiths and all the evil in the land that dont deserve to be on this planet.  

Second level and her main weapon is "She has the ble crystal staff of mushakal 1d100 against evil"
Her stats would make ANY PC go green with envy.
Ultra vision 90 feet
AC: -3

A magic staff that does 1d100 damage vs evil.........
SWEET.

Must be the munchkin factor of 3rd Edition.

Ephros (My thief PC in Mikes Game) could not combine any THREE of his stats to make any two of hers. And his AC (With his Best stat (15 Dex) bonus added is a 5)


Hey Mike, make a note please...............  
lol

through daggers.......

STR 17 (Mus 17/Sta 16), DEX 16 (Aim 17/Bal 20), CON 18 , INT 18  (Rea 16/Kno 18.), WIS 18 (Inn 18/Wil 17), CHA 18. (Lea 18/App 20), COM 22, PER 19

That is 2nd edition Player's Options: Skills and Powers stuff.

Kingofpain89 wrote:
You realize that this PC description was probably written by either a 7 year old girl or a really screwed up 15 year old boy right?  So you guys are either making fun of a sweet, imaginative little girl who loves unicorns and just finished watching the Dragonlance movie, or a pathetic, retarded wretch of a teenage boy who lives most of his day drooling on himself and whacked out of his gourd from the anti-psychotics he takes.  Either way...you guys are just big 'ol meanies.

By the way....what the hell is a "life death quest"?  

Well you see there is life...and um, death....and uh, a quest involved.....something like that????

Mike B.

Aneoth wrote:In either case, how the hell did such a thing get past whatever editiing was done for the PRG web sites NPC netbook?

Any simple word processing program would have weeded out the spelling errors and some of the grammatical errors.

Hmmm....maybe it was one of the Whitfield kids that wrote it?  Bad spelling, bad grammar, and a sick, twisted love of a specific female Dragonlance character.  It all adds up!  

It really is sad that so many parents nowadays are passing down more and more of their faults and failings to their offspring.  Speaking of bad parenting....did everyone hear about this?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23905909/?GT1=43001

How pathetic do you have to be as a parent that your 8, 9, or ten year old child organizes a plot to kill his or her teacher because the teacher scolded him for acting up in class?  Crap like this keeps up and they are going to start having to put security guards and metal detectors at pre-schools.  If you ask me, this is what happens when people dont spank their kids and dont allow the schools to do so either.  Hell, when I acted like a dumbass in grade school I got sent to the principal and got my ass whipped.  Then I got my ass whipped again when I got home.  Did I do it again?  Hell no!  Now they send kids to In-School Suspension where they sit and do nothing or screw around with other delinquents.  Whoop-dee-frickin'-do.  I say send 'em down to the coaches and make them run laps 'til they puke.  If they talk back or dont do it, then give them a good whack across the ass.  If parents would just let the teachers do their jobs instead of butting their noses in and denying them the ability to discipline the students, I think there would be a lot less of this crap going on.  If kids learn early on that they can pretty much get away with anything, it is just going to embolden them to do whatever the heck they want.

And people wonder why my wife and I arent having kids.  

Kingofpain89 wrote:
Hmmm....maybe it was one of the Whitfield kids that wrote it?  Bad spelling, bad grammar, and a sick, twisted love of a specific female Dragonlance character.  It all adds up!  

It really is sad that so many parents nowadays are passing down more and more of their faults and failings to their offspring.  Speaking of bad parenting....did everyone hear about this?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23905909/?GT1=43001

How pathetic do you have to be as a parent that your 8, 9, or ten year old child organizes a plot to kill his or her teacher because the teacher scolded him for acting up in class?  Crap like this keeps up and they are going to start having to put security guards and metal detectors at pre-schools.  If you ask me, this is what happens when people dont spank their kids and dont allow the schools to do so either.  Hell, when I acted like a dumbass in grade school I got sent to the principal and got my ass whipped.  Then I got my ass whipped again when I got home.  Did I do it again?  Hell no!  Now they send kids to In-School Suspension where they sit and do nothing or screw around with other delinquents.  Whoop-dee-frickin'-do.  I say send 'em down to the coaches and make them run laps 'til they puke.  If they talk back or dont do it, then give them a good whack across the ass.  If parents would just let the teachers do their jobs instead of butting their noses in and denying them the ability to discipline the students, I think there would be a lot less of this crap going on.  If kids learn early on that they can pretty much get away with anything, it is just going to embolden them to do whatever the heck they want.

And people wonder why my wife and I arent having kids.  

The more I read that story and thought about it, the more it seemed like the kids had a total disconnect between what they planned and what actually would happen once the knife and crystal paperweight and duct tape came out.  Probably have been watching cable tv and playing violent video games for half their short life, and didn't actually think anyone would get hurt...I mean, just hit the rewind/restart button, right?  At least that's what people will say when looking for excuses. And the excuses will beging soon. I wish Mark Shipley would post about this because being a teacher I bet he has an opinion on this or some stories that would knock your socks off!

I honestly think you'd be surprised if you met some of the parents..out of nine kids, I bet at least a few did everything "right".  No telling what kids will do when A. They don't think it's "real"; B. They don't think ahead to factor in consequences; and C. Their friends are egging them on telling them it's "cool".  I know some people I grew up with and their parents did all the right things.....only to have them turn out to be total asses.  And some of the best people I know had worthless parents or their parents ditched them.  It all comes down to personal responsibility, which we have neglected enforcing for years in our society....it's always someone elses fault.  But when it comes right down to it, sometimes people make choices.  There are other kids in the class that didn't elect to participate, so it's not like everyone made a bad choice here.

BTW in the vein of making excuses, my mothers father (grandfather) came from a dirt poor Louisana home in the early part of the last century.  Seven brothers and sisters with an alcoholic mom and a worthless, deadbeat dad that not only didn't feed the family, he gambled the money away, and when in town would come over and beat the crap out of all the kids so bad he would be thrown in prison today if he tried it. Yet, oddly, my grandfather and his six siblings grew up to not only shun liquor, but according to my mom not a single one ever spanked their kids (mom never got spanked her entire life...by her father...her mother was a different story!!!)   They, my grandfather and siblings,  had every "excuse" in the world to grow up assholes and inflict pain and suffering on others, and not one of them did.   Today a boatload of psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists would be excusing them whatever awful behavior they had as a result of their terrible upbringing. Thank God that generation didn't have access to Jerry Springer or Dr. Phil.

Mike B.

jasonw1239 wrote:There are other forms of abuse such as this recent one from Dallas.

http://religionblog.dallasnews.com/arch ... ssibl.html

Actually, not that we don't have lots of freaks here in Dallas, but this story actually took place in Wisconsin...the story was in the DMN, but the events happened in Weston.

Mike B.

jasonw1239 wrote:Thanks! I missed that completely. A friend forwarded that link to me and I missed the Wisconsin reference.

We have the same problem around here with extreme fundamentalists. A few years back a local man was charged for practicing medicine without a license after telling some of his followers to stop taking their prescriptions followed by some fatalities. He was billing himself as a faith healer.

Hell, I had a friend that did that...she called herself a "herbalist"! She had to stop dispensing her "natural remedies" when someone she was "advising" had a heart attack because the herbal remedy she convinced the victim to take was, unlike what she said, NOT as good as the actual heart medicine...

Just lucky a death didn't result....

And my friend is/was a Gaian (sp?).  I guess you can't get more "fundamentalist" than that!  

Mike B.

Lack of responsibility coupled with a lack of common sense. Applies to both the posse kids and the faith healers/murderers. And just about everything else in America.
Here's a great example for you:
Senator Barack Abominable mentioned in a speech the other day that he didn't think his daughters should be "punished" with a child if they make a mistake and get pregnant. This is the most abhorrent type of parenting. it is not punishment is his daughter gets pregnant, it is IRRESPONSIBILITY. 99% of abortions are people not taking responsibility for their actions, plain and simple. I don't care if you're 13 or 45, male or female, if you know HOW to have sex then you know what can happen, and you SHOULD BE responsible for the consequences.