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Post Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 7:18 am 
 

Deadlord39 wrote:They're all the same to me.


i like it! another one to add to the monster manual :)

Al



  

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Post Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 10:16 pm 
 

The next helping.




Creature Feature:


Illegal Alien (Invadus Frommexicus)
Frequency: Common (U.S.), Very Rare (anywhere else)
No. Appearing: 1-8,000,000+
Armor Class: 8
Move: 18"
Hit Dice: 1/2
% in Lair: 33%
Treasure Type: None
No. of Attacks: 0
Damage/Attack: 0
Special Attacks: Steal Job, Summon Friends and Family
Special Defenses: Summon Liberals
Magic Resistance: Standard
Intelligence: Low
Alignment: Any
Size: M
Psionic Ability: None
  Attack/Defense Modes: Nil/Nil

Once a rare and elusive creature, the Illegal Alien's astounding capability to reproduce, along with judicious use of its special abilities, have allowed it to infest huge areas. The exact number of these creatures is unknown, however, it is generally thought to be many millions. It is a secretive being, preferring to remain unobserved in order to avoid detection by its only natural predators, the INS Agent and the Border Patrol.
The Illegal Alien is a basically benevolent creature, having no direct attacks or defense, and if threatened will flee, outdistancing most pursuers with its blinding speed. If cornered, it will curl into a ball and begin to babble unintelligibly. It will only use its abilities when it is confident it will avoid detection.
The first of these, Steal Job, will be used within 1-4 days after the creature arrives at a new location. Two hours after the ability is used, the Alien will be offered a menial position by a local business which offers 1/4 of the normal rate for the region, and which requires the Alien to work for 16 hours per day. Within 2-5 days of the Alien receiving a position, from 1-4 non-Alien workers will be released by the business.
During the 8 hour period in which the Alien is not working, it will secrete itself in its lair, usually a condemned building, and invoke its second offensive ability, Summon Friends and Family, which allows it to summon 1d10 friendly Aliens (10% chance of success per 8 hour period). These Aliens will arrive in 2-12 days.
The defensive capabilities of the Alien are limited. If detected by a hostile creature, the Alien will automatically trigger its Summon Liberals ability (25% chance of success). If successful, from 2-20 Liberals (see Liberals, Standard) will appear and begin a cacophony of threats and insults. There is a 50% chance that the enemy will be driven off.
The only known method of cleansing an area of Illegal Aliens is the use of a Deportation spell. This will remove all Aliens in a 1 mile radius of the spell. However, the spell does not prevent future reinfestation; 2-4 weeks after the spell is cast, all affected Aliens will attempt to return to the area.


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Post Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 9:41 am 
 

lol! i love it - thats a quality addition!

:)

Al



  

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Post Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:38 pm 
 

Thanks, Al. I do try.


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Post Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 2:24 pm 
 

Creature Feature:


Handler (Takon Chargeus)
Frequency: Uncommon
No. Appearing: 1
Armor Class: 6
Move: 12"
Hit Dice: 1
% in Lair: 50%
Treasure Type: A
No. of Attacks: 1
Damage/Attack: 1-4
Special Attacks: Handling Screw
Special Defenses: NPB Report, Negative Feedback, Reincarnation
Magic Resistance: Standard
Intelligence: Average
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Size: M
Psionic Ability: None
 Attack/Defense Modes: Nil/Nil

These vile creatures have appeared in ever-increasing numbers due to the expansion of their natural environment, the Internet. Generally considered to be nothing more than a nuisance, they nevertheless have a damaging attack which is difficult to detect and avoid.
The Handler begins its attack by offering rare and unusual treasures to its victims. These items are generally desireable, and offered at 50-75% of the normal value in order to entrap prey. Once the victim has accepted the offer, the Handler invokes its special ability. It will charge the victim the agreed-on price, and add on a "handling" fee that is 50-100% of the price. While the victim struggles, the Handler will feed off the energies released by the creature's frustration and misery.
Victims may escape the creature's grasp by refusing to complete the transaction. Doing so, however, will cause the Handler to rely on its defensive powers. It will first invoke the power of NPB report, which causes no physical damage but will leave a permanent scar. Once 3 such scars have been accumulated, the victim dies. The handler will usually (80%) use its Negative Feedback ability to damage the reputation of its victim as well.
The best way to avoid Handlers is to identify them before entering their territories. Certain communities have established groups of individuals who actively seek out signs of Handler infestation in order to warn potential victims. Handlers are extremely difficult to destroy, due to their innate Reincarnation ability, which alows them to return in a slightly altered form.


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Post Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 3:49 pm 
 

:D  :D  :D

great one frank! :)

you are wasted there - you should be writing up a new 1E monster manual - it will be a bestseller :D

Al



  

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Post Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 7:01 pm 
 

Hmmm. Hey, perhaps I might do one in PDF form for Acaeum members only. I'd have to fine-tune it a bit. Keep in mind, these features take me about 5 minutes, so they're not exactly honed items.


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Post Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 9:22 pm 
 

Deadlord39 wrote:Hmmm. Hey, perhaps I might do one in PDF form for Acaeum members only. I'd have to fine-tune it a bit. Keep in mind, these features take me about 5 minutes, so they're not exactly honed items.


well i think they are an absolute blast - and i will certainly be tempted to use 1 or 2 in my encounters just for a bit of fun :)

Al



  


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Post Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 2:37 am 
 

Frank, have you got one for the Second Chance Offer sellers? :D

I lack the scholastic finess you elloquently display  8) My attempts (not listed) sound to me like something written by a 6 year old :lol:

  


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Post Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:12 pm 
 

Bump.


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Post Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 9:31 pm 
 

Was that a subtle hint ?  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:


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Post Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 9:40 pm 
 

No, but this is:



BUMP


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Post Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 10:47 am 
 

Smaller Bump :)

ShaneG.


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Post Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 6:43 pm 
 

Sorry, I've been way too lax. The first post after this with a creature name, I'll do if you like.


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Post Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 6:47 pm 
 

Cougarretard


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Post Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 7:48 pm 
 

Cougar it is. I can't call him CougarRetard, however, that was the pet name I assigned him some years back. He has to go by his common name.
Working........


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Post Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 8:04 pm 
 

- Cougar it is. I can't call him CougarRetard, however, that was the pet name I assigned him some years back.

from scientific naming felis concolor etardicus??

  

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Post Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 8:42 pm 
 

Not quite satisfied with this one, but I have two huge Cisco tests this week, so I'm a bit distracted. As always, feel free to offer suggestions, improvements, or to bash it in general.



Cougarrinard (Felinus Scumbagus)
Frequency: Unique
No. Appearing: 1
Armor Class: 6
Move: 12"
Hit Dice: 2
% in Lair: See Below
Treasure Type: C
No. of Attacks: 1
Damage/Attack: 0
Special Attacks: Handling Screw, Overstate Condition, Feedback Whine, M-bag Bash
Special Defenses: Negative Feedback, Persecution, Mutual Withdrawal
Magic Resistance: Standard
Intelligence: Low
Alignment: Neutral
Size: M
Psionic Ability: None
Attack/Defense Modes: Nil/Nil

The Cougarrinard is a solitary creature; it has never been sighted, and all information about the beast has been accumulated by individuals who have observed or experienced its assaults. Victims are almost exclusively hunted in the land of eBay, though the creature does not reside there. It culls the weaker creatures from the vast roaming herds found there, and uses its devastating abilities to subdue its prey. Over the years it has assumed a legendary status; other names for the beast include CougarRetard, Cougie, and Shithead.
The Cougarrinard begins its hunt for prey by seeding the grounds of eBay with hundreds of RPG auctions. These are poorly described, and are encahnted by the Cougarrinard using its Overstate Condition ability. Unwary bidders are usually lured into a false sense of security by the shiny coating the beast uses on its auctions. It bathes the auctions in a Titanium liquid, exuded from the creature's skin, until the auction is fully enveloped.
Once a victim has taken the bait, the CougarRetard springs into action. It begins by attacking with its Handling Screw ability, hammering its prey with unreasonable fees. The victim is stunned for 1-4 days (save vs. poison at -4 to avoid).
After the victim is stunned, the Cougarrinard begins a loud, high-pitched screeching, known as the Feedback Whine, in an attempt to drain life from the victim. This attack can be negated if the prey leaves a Positive Feedback at the site of the auction. Caution should be used, however, as this serves to increase the Cougarrinard's permanent hit points by 1 for every Positive Feedback left.
Should the victim attempt to combat the Cougarrinard, it activates one or both of its defenses. Persecution is an ability which allows the Cougarrinard to barrage its attacker with a stream of nonsensical e-mails in an attempt to overwhelm the attacker. This ability is occasionally used offensively, in tandem with the Feedback Whine; however, the Cougarrinard usually reserves it for defense.
As a last resort, the Cougarrinard will strike at its attacker with its Negative Feedback ability, stripping 1 hit point from the attacker. This ability, however, carries risks for the creature, as it temporarily infuses the target with the very same ability. If the target attacks the Cougarrinard with this ability, it will immediately cringe and behave in an otherwise cowardly fashion. At this point, it will attempt to use Mutual Withdrawal. This allows the Cougarrinard and its attacker to negate the effects of the Negative Feedback attacks.
The last unique ability the creature possesses is the M-Bag Bash. This is used to obtain items for its auction traps. When the creature encounters an auction of size L or greater, it will seize it and attemt to steal it from its possessor using this ability. If it is successful, it breaks the auction into smaller portions, which it then uses to bait its traps.
No information is available concerning the creature's social habits, nor the amount of time it spends in its lair, as no one has ever approached it in its stronghold. Reproductive information is also unavailable; however, speculations exist as to the possibility that the creature is asexual, existing only to feed and pursue its goals. The scholar Bclarkie, having done extensive research on the Cougarrinard, has provided information hinting that the creature desires to replace its Titanium exoskeleton with a Ruby-Encrusted Platinum one. Proof of this has, unfortunately, eluded adventurers to this day.


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Post Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 9:15 pm 
 

- Not quite satisfied with this one
-
- Once a victim has taken the bait, the CougarRetard springs into action. It begins by attacking with its Handling Screw ability, hammering its prey with unreasonable fees. The victim is stunned for 1-4 days (save vs. poison at -4 to avoid).
- After the victim is stunned, the Cougarrinard begins a loud, high-pitched screeching, known as the Feedback Whine, in an attempt to drain life from the victim. This attack can be negated if the prey leaves a Positive Feedback at the site of the auction. Caution should be used, however, as this serves to increase the Cougarrinard's permanent hit points by 1 for every Positive Feedback left.
-
- The last unique ability the creature possesses is the M-Bag Bash. This is used to obtain items for its auction traps. When the creature encounters an auction of size L or greater, it will seize it and attemt to steal it from its possessor using this ability. If it is successful, it breaks the auction into smaller portions, which it then uses to bait its traps.

:lol: :lol:
looks good deadlord! :D :D

ac6 = ac5 but not vgc as stated? ;)

  


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Post Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 11:00 pm 
 

I really enjoyed the previous ones.  Hope you don't mind if I try. Inspired by one of my favorites from Fiend Folio:

Coug Coug Zombie (Bidus Shillus)
Frequency: Rare
No. Appearing: 2-3
Armor Class: 9
Move: Stationary
Hit Dice: 1
% in Lair: Unknown
Treasure Type: None
No. of Attacks: 0
Damage/Attack: 0
Special Attacks: Auction Inflation, Shipping Misdirection, Summon Cougarrinard
Special Defenses: Make Feedback Private, Hide Identity, No Longer Registered User
Magic Resistance: Standard
Intelligence: Non
Alignment: Neutral
Size: M
Psionic Ability: None
Attack/Defense Modes: Nil/Nil

The Coug Coug Zombie is a relatively new phenomenon first noted on the Prime Ebay Plane by the esteemed Cougologists Kosh Vorlontay and BClarkie. These poor, unfortunate creatures were first recognized on Ebay when they attempted to unload their vast D&D collections to the unwitting Acaeum masses. Quick thinking Vorlontay and Clarkie recognized something was cougy when the creatures displayed an almost contemptous lack of grammatical and capitalization skills. Not to mention that the creatures most prized positions never achieved an appraisal status of better than VGC.  While their exact origin, creation, and ultimate purpose remain a mystery, they are believed to be the unforutnate consequence of a C-Tard act of reproduction.  (See 'C-Tard' entry for more details.)  In the vernacular of the regions most vulnerable to the devestations of the C-Tard species, these creatures are known as 'LPF' or 'my mate in the States'.

Whether these beings act autonomously or under the direction of their progenitor, the Coug Coug Zombie's attacks can have devestating consequences for the uninformed.   Their primary attack is Shill, 15' Radius which is used to great effect by draining the financial resources of newbies at $1/turn.  Newbies who do not realize they are under the influence of this charm can quickly find their hard-earned wealth squandered on over-priced, D&D parphenalia which may or may not be delivered.  A secondary attack with equally destructive consequences is Shipping Misdirection.  In their never-ending quest to sate the C-Tards desire to be the biggest Ebay seller, the Coug Coug Zombie will bid on large lots of foodstuffs, usually 1st edition D&D with a sprig of 2nd edition for good measure.   The unwary victim will then be convinced by the Coug Coug Zombie to use a magical m-bag for shipment, eventually depriving the victim of both goods and monies.

When observed in the wild, these creatures display an impressive arsenal of defensive adaptations.  As with many creatures of darkness, these beasts will not reveal their true name unless bound in a magic circle or threatened by an Ebay customer service rep.  Invoking the name of 'C-Tard' in their presence, evokes the initial response of making their feedback private.  If this does not deter its enemies, then its final defense/attack response is to morph into a 'Not a Registered User' while summoning its parent C-Tard to email the Valuation Board.  Unfortunately, the Coug Coug Zombie has already drained its victims by this point and the Valuation Board must deal with the taint of another ad hominem attack on their character.  (The only known cure to remove this  C-Tard odor is bathing in tomato juice.)

According to Vorlontay and Clarkie, these beasts are best left to the experts and should be avoided at all costs.

  
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