Most Objectionable TSR Art Ever Published! • Page 2 • Collecting General • The Acaeum

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Most Objectionable TSR Art Ever Published!
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bonk!
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Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 10:30 pm

MShipley88 wrote: Also...I keep hearing Harami refer to EW....what is that?

EW is the Eldritch Wizardry supplement, with the hapless nude "Barbie Doll" (LOL Harami2000!) stretched out over the sacrificial altar.

bonk!

bbarsh
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Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 11:33 pm

jpipes wrote:Personally, I've never been offended by the suggested/potential sexual overtones in any of the various D&D related artworks, but what HAS always annoyed me is the (in my opinion) totally silly "girl with huge breasts in a thong and chain mail bra" topic of painting. It's just plain silly. I can think of at least 5 or 6 prominent works that had this as the focus, and I hated them all. I just never got it...

I 100% agree. There is nothing wrong with trying to draw sexy females with swords. But most of what we get is so over the top, it just sucks. My personal most hated are all those DL illustrations. In reality those half naked chicks would last five minutes walking through a dungeon or even a simple forest.

And I could've bought these damn modules off the 1$ rack!!!

New modules for your Old School game http://pacesettergames.com/

Everything Pacesetter at http://pacesettergames.blog.com/

deimos3428
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Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 11:56 pm

bbarsh wrote:I 100% agree. There is nothing wrong with trying to draw sexy females with swords. But most of what we get is so over the top, it just sucks. My personal most hated are all those DL illustrations. In reality those half naked chicks would last five minutes walking through a dungeon or even a simple forest.

Unless they're really nymphs, Type V demons, succubi, etc. There were far too many monsters designed to prey on male roleplayer's hormonal stupidity. Our characters quickly developed a simple rule:

If it's female, attractive, alone, and in a dungeon -- kill it, ask questions later.

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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:29 am

deimos3428 wrote:
bbarsh wrote:I 100% agree. There is nothing wrong with trying to draw sexy females with swords. But most of what we get is so over the top, it just sucks. My personal most hated are all those DL illustrations. In reality those half naked chicks would last five minutes walking through a dungeon or even a simple forest.

Unless they're really nymphs, Type V demons, succubi, etc. There were far too many monsters designed to prey on male roleplayer's hormonal stupidity. Our characters quickly developed a simple rule:

If it's female, attractive, alone, and in a dungeon -- kill it, ask questions later.

Wish I could say the same here. There was one player that no matter the character they were playing could always be counted on to fall for the happless female who later wanted some alone time. Did not matter what it was, succubus, doppleganger, illusionist, assassin etc. they fell for and often died for it everytime. It became almost curuel, sadistic and unfair to do it.

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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:52 am

bbarsh wrote:
jpipes wrote:Personally, I've never been offended by the suggested/potential sexual overtones in any of the various D&D related artworks, but what HAS always annoyed me is the (in my opinion) totally silly "girl with huge breasts in a thong and chain mail bra" topic of painting. It's just plain silly. I can think of at least 5 or 6 prominent works that had this as the focus, and I hated them all. I just never got it...

I 100% agree. There is nothing wrong with trying to draw sexy females with swords. But most of what we get is so over the top, it just sucks. My personal most hated are all those DL illustrations. In reality those half naked chicks would last five minutes walking through a dungeon or even a simple forest.

But then again, if there really was a D&D forest no one in his right mind would ever go near it...much less a dungeon!

Also, no one would ever live next to water...particularly the ocean. Talk about a death wish! Fishermen must be the highest level guys in every D&D world.

Humans in a D&D world would live only on extremely flat, open plains, possibly with herds of cattle to provide the humans with dairy products and their gigantic packs of attack dogs with meat. :lol:

A special detail would always be assigned to listen for burrowing!

Everyone would have worse nightmares than the poor children forced to live aboard the USS Enterprise in Star Trek the Next Generation! Talk about mental problems!

Mark :lol:

:lol: :lol:

"But I have watched the dragons come, fire-eyed, across the world."

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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:54 am

My players often joke about "Player-Character Dislexia."

This is the syndrome that causes PC's to go towards whatever everyone else is running away from. :lol:

Mark

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bbarsh
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 9:11 am

I am not even talking about our half naked chicks goint into combat. The simple environmental factors of walking through a forest, dungeon, desert, is at its best dirty, wet, cold, hot, bug-filled, sharp objects, on and on.

And it sure is amazing how they keep their hair perfect! Now, it is a fantasy game and we all understand that. But for me, I like a little reality-based fantasy

... you get what I mean.

I spent 4 years in the army walking and crawling through jungles, woods and deserts. Even under the easiest of training missions, you got messed up. Guys getting cut, bruised, etc.

As cool as it would be to have a half naked, chainmail bikini girl along, she wouldn't make it 100 yeards.

And I could've bought these damn modules off the 1$ rack!!!

New modules for your Old School game http://pacesettergames.com/

Everything Pacesetter at http://pacesettergames.blog.com/

mbassoc2003
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 10:49 am

I have a bigger problem with the giant tree stump than the nude on the cover of EW.

This week I've been mostly eating . . . The white ones with the little red flecks in them.

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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 10:56 am

Look on the cover of AC2. My players for years have referred to the picture of the 3 monsters as the _____-nosed creatures.

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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 3:48 pm

mbassoc2003 wrote:I have a bigger problem with the giant tree stump than the nude on the cover of EW.

Is it because you:

a) Find the tree stump unbelievable in some way?

b) Object to naked trees?

c) Object to a naked girl abusing a tree stump?

d) Object to the tree being cut down?

Mark :lol:

"But I have watched the dragons come, fire-eyed, across the world."

harami2000
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 3:50 pm

MShipley88 wrote:d) Object to the tree being cut down?

I suspect the EW druids might've done!

RWilson
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 9:10 pm

I am jumping in here but there is some TERRIBLE artwork in that 3rd immortal module, IM3...I can't remember his name but the pictures just stink.....

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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 11:51 pm

@ Mark.

I agree with Ian though. That stump is kinda objectionable. Stone altar would have been better. :wink:

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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 12:24 am

Am I the only one who found the illustration on the bottom of page 104 of the Fiend Folio disturbing?

I'm a dwaven cleric by day and a male stripper by night.

Nice bag of holding.

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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:41 am

harami2000 wrote:
MShipley88 wrote:d) Object to the tree being cut down?

I suspect the EW druids might've done!

I think that the eco-druids of AD&D are one of the less workable concepts of the system...but then druids in general were not well thought out in first edition...and they still suck in 3.5. I think a late 20th century Defender of the Wild is a fairly stupid concept in a medieval setting.

Never fear! I have saved this baby deer! You may return to your homes safe in the knowledge that no critters will be harmed this day!. Hey, you! Unhand that rabbit!

Downright dorky.

Right down there with the amusing vocabulary error that had monks as "aesthetics" rather than "ascetics."

Mark

"But I have watched the dragons come, fire-eyed, across the world."

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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 2:05 am

Well, surprisingly enough, a PROPERLY played druid would not have issues with characters hunting in their woods, as long as they hunt game animals and eat what they catch, and don't strip the land bare. Chopping down live trees, butchering wildlife needlessly, that is what sets druids off.
You can't expect a druid to yank a rabbit out of the jaws of a hungry wolf! Druids understand that things must die for other things to survive. They are really just concerned with balance. Hence the Neutral alignment.
I've seen some moronic 3E art, with 120 pound women (40 pounds of it breast) swinging 6' long swords as wide as the Mississippi. Usually the chainmail bikinis they are wearing (so pointless) are riding so far up their cracks that they are digesting links. Chainmail bikinis offend me. "Sure, slice up my abdomen, back, neck and other critical areas, but you ain't gashing these oversized tits!" PUH-leeze.
And of course they are fighting 3,500 lb. monsters with teeth longer than a car, and muscles so cut that they could win a MR. Monster Universe pageant.
To me, that is objectionable.

If you hit a Rowsdower, you get to keep it.

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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 2:17 am

"Balance" is another fantasy gaming concept that I find amusing.

I could accept the Balance between Chaos and Law of Michael Moocock's writings. That works.

But a "Balance" between Good and Evil makes me laugh:

"I need some evil to balance all the good I have done. What do you suggest?"

There is too much good? We need some evil?:

"Sir, this sandwich is too delicious! I really must insist that you balance it with some dog turds or my neutrality may be compromised. Yes, the really big ones. Thank you. Now I may enjoy my balanced sandwich! The gods of Whatever will be most pleased."

Mark :lol:

:lol:

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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:27 am

yeah that was always something i tended to have problems getting my head around on a constant basis.

i could accept neutrality on the basis that you extract yourself from everything and do your own thing and not be involved in any way with one or the other. that kinda works in my head.

but then most of my characters were always chaotic neutral. basically very instinctive and pretty much off the cuff lunacy. this used to wind up the whole party loads, but it was worth every penny.

specially trying to creep up on a black dragon, and there is me standing there throwing stones at it

(just about every player in the room at that time threw a book at me)

Al

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