Very funny article. For those not in the know, The Onion is America's (and perhaps the worlds) best satrical publication, their wit is bitingly funny and very tongue in cheek.  As can be seen in this article that ran yesterday....
REMEMBER: The below is a PARODY and SATIRE   Just in case anyway really thinks 85% of the US was watching the cup matches  

Mike B.

Devastated By U.S. World Cup Team's First-Round Loss, Nation Grinds To Halt
June 15, 2006 | Onion Sports

NEW YORK, LOS ANGELES, and WASHINGTON, DC—With the Dow Jones average down over 600 points, factory productivity in a downward spiral, and workplace attendance down by nearly a third, experts say the U.S. World Cup team's heartbreaking 3-0 defeat at the hands of Czech Republic on Monday has brought life across the soccer-crazed nation to a virtual standstill.

"What happened in Gelsenkirchen has indeed dealt a grievous blow to the morale of the American people," said President Bush, who had promised his constituency a swift and speedy victory in the World Cup this year and whose popularity has taken a 9 percent hit since the U.S. team's loss. "I want the citizens of this great nation, the world's only remaining superpower, to know that I grieve alongside them and urge them to be strong in our hour of darkness, and urge them to return to their jobs and schools despite their heavy hearts."

Mere days ago, the feeling across the nation was one of great joy, eager anticipation, and optimism for the prospects of the most talented American team to ever take the field. It is estimated that over 85 percent of U.S. households were watching the USA--Czech Republic matchup. And going into the game that most Americans have been waiting for, analyzing, and all but living for during the past four years, schools, offices, shopping centers—everything, in fact, except vital services—closed their doors as the game began.

Now, days after the end of penalty time, many of those doors are still closed.

"I take full responsibility for losing the game," said Claudio Reyna, whose shot off the crossbar of the Czech goal as the U.S. trailed 1-0 in the opening half of play has been shown to coincide with a significant bump in the suicide rate, a momentary increase in reports of domestic violence, and a $0.45 increase in the per-gallon price of gasoline. "But we still have games to play in this opening round. I realize that the United States, more than any other country, loves this game. But that is no reason for so many people to cancel their weddings."

The general feeling of hopelessness may be felt across the United States, the nation the rest of the world thinks of as Pelé's adopted home, the land that popularized the term "soccer," and Americans are finding many different ways to voice their despair.

Hundreds of yards of black bunting hung over the head and arms of the Statue of Liberty has yet to be removed by the New York City Parks Department; similar shrouds have appeared on Mount Rushmore, the Golden Gate Bridge, and Hawaii's Pearl Harbor Memorial. Las Vegas casinos are running skeleton staffs at the tables and doubling the size of security shifts, at once worrying over their empty floors and fearing retribution at the hands of World Cup gamblers who bet on the U.S. out of loyalty. And the House of Representatives, which traditionally remains closed throughout the World Cup, called a special session for the specific purpose of introducing a bipartisan bill that would change America's national sport back to baseball.

"This cannot last," said Bruce Arena, coach of the U.S. World Cup team and by extension effectively the second-most powerful man in America, in an address televised simultaneously on every national channel Wednesday night. "We cannot have crops unharvested in the fields, the doors of our churches sealed shut, the Stars and Stripes fixed at half-mast, all because of our dishonorable standard of play. We cannot ask you to forgive our loss to the Czechs, as that must be left to the wisdom of the God of our fathers. We have always been a nation blessed with strength, not only in our love for our soccer teams, but in our love for one another, and we must call on both now if we are to endure these dark days."

At press time, the U.S. team is scheduled to play Italy on Saturday and Ghana the following Thursday, and the National Guard has reported moderate casualties while attempting to contain hooligan activity in the nine largest U.S. cities.

Is there a rule in the World Cup system to balance out lopsided scores that might have an effect on the standings?

The standings I have seen on the news all record how many goals a team has scored...apparently as a tie-breaker.  

Seems to me that this system would unwisely reward a fluke blowout.

Mark  

mark. this goal "difference" thing only matters during this "group" stage, ie. the 1st round. the top two teams in each group go into the knockout stages...the other two teams are knocked out.

if two teams are tied with the same amount of points (ie. 3 points for a game won, 1 point for a game drawn, 0 points for a game lost), then the team with the better goal difference goes through.

it used to always be this easy until they changed it slightly and now it can be that the team who has scored more goals and who scored more goals against each other etc...

can get rather complicated, and i get the impression sometimes that the rules that be dont even know wtf they are talking about sometimes.

in the next round, we have a golden goal or whatever equivalent they have this time.

Al

well BB you nailed it right on the head there chummer....the one team in the world i really hate is portugal. they are amongst the biggest bunch of cheaters i have ever seen....italy and spain are running a close second.

how they dont have an independant panel reviewing these things after games is beyond me.

as for the USA against Italy...well tbh, Italy dont look their best you know and the US have every chance of getting in there and making something happen. Italy are always weak in the group stages. they were knocked out at this stage in the last world cup.

Al

Hmmm ...

First, Ghana beats the Czechs ...

Then we get an own-goal ...

And now Italy is down to 10 men ... (nice elbow, BTW, you Italian thug).

Could it be; will the 'Mercans live to fight another day? (knock wood)

Ten men each now so should be n interesting 2nd half! I hope the Americans go on and win as it makes things much more fun!

I think the Americans will need to score from a corner or throw as the Italians look very strong defending from open play so far...

The U.S. showed once again they have an incredible instinct to compete.  I'm not being patriotic, that' definitely not my style.  I'm just impressed how hard they played from the very beginning.  It was a very exciting match.  

And huge congrats to Ghana!

'twas quite a nailbiter!

The thing I always remember about the World Cup is that it takes time for the teams to really get into the tournament - so you never know how the next few games will go...