So . . . does anyone's Wife/Girlfriend actually like D&D
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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:03 am 

(With no disrespect to the female members on this board . . . )

I know there is a lot of chatter about wives/girlfriends complaining about too much "geek stuff" around, too much shelf space occupied, too much money being spent and too much time online. Always it is a constant battle to reconcile the two and know when to bow to our "higher authority" and when to sneak downstairs after she has fallen asleep.

Is anyone's signficant other actually onboard with the D&D/RPG'S? Is anyone here lucky enough to have a wife you takes an interest in your purchases or wants to spend an evening gaming?

Blackmoor's wife does an awesome job painting minis, so I think she must have some interest (maybe a lot?).

The only time my wife shows a glimmer of interest is when I say something like . . . "See this book that I just picked up for $2.99 at the used book store? It's called Kithbook Pooka and I just sold it to someone for $100!"

I tell her I am going to trick her into playing someday by getting the our children involved and then she will feel obligated to play (of course, I am mostly just joking . . . if she actually took me up on that, I think I would be the one regretting it!!!!) :D

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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:09 am 

Same story !  :)


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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:25 am 

well my girlfriend, despite her moaning about how much i spend or how much time i spend on D&D, she actually likes it.

i am currently DM'ing a game in which she and my daughter (who is 14) is playing. the other daughter (who is 6) wants to play too, but doesnt quite grasp it all yet. g/f is playing a cleric and daugher is playing a ranger (we play 1E)....(when i play, i have a mountain dwarf fighter) - they did B4 and are now in the middle of B2. they seem to be having lots of fun and are picking the game up rather well.

hoping to get my mate keith over, so he can DM and we can then continue the saltmarsh series (we have just finished U1 - have i ever said what a fantastic module that is?)...

but yes, she does like the game, but doesnt like the detail i tend to go into sometimes. eg. explaining to her how to apply bonuses to hit and saving throws / what infravision-ultravision is etc :D

while this is going on, my daughter has taken an unhealthy interest in orcs, who were chopping down trees for lumber, from a wood she has started to frequent and has built a little cabin in.... she's getting pretty damn clever with them traps, let me tell you! grimtooth's traps hasnt got a thing on her believe me :D

Are we nearly there yet?


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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:50 am 

My Girlfriend is Norwegian.
A few years ago I picked up a HC copy of the Basic and Expert rules in norwegian.

All of her friends, luckily, think I'm a nice guy so I have persuaded the female part of them all into trying the game with me this summer.

Imagine - a bunch of 30+ females (medical scientist, Lawyer, Judge, nurse, saleswoman and ceramists (thats my girlfriend)) playing D&D  for the first time ever.  :D

I really look forward to it :)

My girlfriend has accepted that I am a collector and accepts that I use 2-5 nights a month playing RPG's as well.

But somehow I can relate to the: "look honey - I just bought this lot of books for $xx and these I keep and these I sell for $xxx".

Somehow it always makes her more interrested  :wink:



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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 6:23 am 

Telling you my personal experience.

I have tried many times the concept to my different girlfriends and my wife, and also to other women in general - girlfriends/wives/friends - and that's what I learnt from.

It's pretty difficult to find someone genuinely interested in RPGs. The most of them play because it's a way to share something their significant other does - a fact that greatly detriments their enjoyment of the adventures and provides an element of distraction to the whole group.
The most recent case is the ex-gf of one of my players, who had a character too, and was more interested in the pets of the house, in rattling dice and building towers with them, on scribbling on the character sheet and so on; in play she did the most absurd things withour remorse, often putting the group in dire straits.
When they split up, she didn't came anymore (of course) - and I can say no one in this group was THIS sorry. The fact is that she likes to paint miniatures instead - and is quite good too at it.

One of my ex girlfriends instead was very, genuinely happy to play - and she enjoyed the game very much with all her friends and we played one day a week until we split up. I don't know if this counts, but she worked with kids for a living.

The best solution generally is to have someone with whom you're friend with - and have no sentimental quibbles about. In this way, she plays for fun and nothing else, and doesn't feel obligated to play because you do.

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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 7:15 am 

My girlfriend is an even more avid collecter then I am, with lots of books from 1st, 2nd and 3rd edition, CoC and some other weird roleplayinggames. Too bad she get emotionally tied to her stuff, else she'd make a nice reseller too.

And of course my GF also joins in on my sessions. She's been in every group i've set up in the last 8 years so that makes me a very happy man :)


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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 7:22 am 

in fact of all the cool D&D stuff that i have, the only item my girlfriend REALLY likes, is the Judges Guild module "Rat on a Stick" for Tunnels & Trolls.... for some reason she loves that item dearly. so she has a collection of 1 and thats it :D

Are we nearly there yet?


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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 8:39 am 

My fiance doesnt mind that I collect stuff, she probably just wishes that I managed my money a bit better.  Since I collect certain role-playing games (D&D with a bit of Traveller, Shadowrun, and Vampire), comics, vintage video games, and books I tend to spend a bit more on these things than say yard tools or home decorating.  I have introduced her to comics and video games and she has given as much time and effort as I would expect which is very little.  Since she is a forensics nut and watches CSI religiously, I picked up the CSI comics for her and she did read them and enjoyed them.  Try to get her to read X-Men or Batman and I might as well be trying to get her to eat her cats.  8O   She doesnt care for computer or console games but if I get her to a Dave and Busters, she will spend an hour killing zombies on House of the Dead.

I asked her once if she would try playing D&D if I really wanted her to and she looked at me with the same look that she gives me when I ask her about trying something in bed that requires her to twist herself into an uncomfortable position.   So I just dont bring it up again after that.   :twisted:


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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 8:53 am 

My wife began playing shortly before we got maried.  She is a gamer through and through (tabletop rpgs, MMORPGs, computer games, Risk, minigames like Hackers and Zombies!!! you name it, she'll play it).  She however is NOT a collector.

Well thats only half true, she does collect things....medical devices...which are far more costly and difficult to get these days than an ST1 (some are actually illegal to own if you are not liscenced).  She really does not understand my collecting that much, to her having one "white box" is enough, even after I explain the difference between 4th and 6th prints she can't see wanting both (which is why I don't have a 4th print atm).

So when I have enough funds gathered I will attempt to buy her her new object of desire (an ultrasound) and afterwards I think I will have free reign to buy anything I want in regards to oD&D (despite the fact I won't have the funds).



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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 11:44 am 

My soon-to-be wife has expressed an interest in playing OD&D.  She's not sure if she can deal with the 6-hour session, but I think she is genuinely interested.  She sat in and observed a 3-hour session and laughed in all the right spots, so I know she was paying attention.  She is, however, an old theater-nerd person from highschool and college, so I think what really interests her is the role-playing, theatrical aspects of it.  She liked the action, too, she's a fan of the Kill Bill movies and the idea of roleplaying a character like The Bride is attractive to her, I think.  I bought her some pink dice to use, if she ever gets the urge to actually play (thus far she's only rolled up a character and written up her backstory).  She has made the interesting comment "it's so much less nerdy than I thought it would be . . ."


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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:00 pm 

My wife and I play D&D every weekend and go together to game shows like Gencon and games days to play games.  She is very involved and a big fan of gaming.  She also doesn't mind that I spend $300 - $ 500 every month on games and miniatures, it is just what we do.

My freinds are very envious sometimes :D

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Post Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 10:09 pm 

None of my former girlfriends played, or wanted to be with a guy that played.

My wife played once with a guy that had a soft spot for one of his own characters (an NPC in his own world), and basically kicked the party's ass for no reason than he could do it.

Turned her off the game for life....Although when I play with my friends and she is home, she laughs when we laugh and gets pissed when we get pissed.

Now I just have to convince her to let me spend our retirement fund so I can get all the different printings of all the rares..... :roll:

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Post Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 1:43 am 

Tangental reply . . . . I don't play D&D anymore, but my wife is incredibly tolerant of the art infestation in our house. We were actually married for almost a year before we had a bed, because every time we decided we'd had enough of sleeping on the floor of our apartment on eggcrate foam, a painting would turn up and I'd buy that instead. That she didn't a) divorce me or b) slaughter me in my sleep is still an item of no small amazement to me . . . .

She has even accepted the fact that she cannot own any furniture which rises more than 3 1/2 feet off the ground - can't be wasting precious wall space on useless things like china cabinets, etc. (I built custom bookshelves upstairs to fit books into places where there wasn't room for art.)

She DID look at me a little strangely when I informed her that I was removing the door to the bedroom, since I wanted to hang a large Jon Foster oil on the wall behind the open door, but she acquiesced good-naturedly.


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Post Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 3:41 pm 

My wife plays. So do my kids (ages 9 and 12). I figure that if I train the next generation then we have more family time and so far it is working.  :)

I have some gaming friends who are married to non-gamers, and they always have issues with time and money spent on game stuff.

I guess there is a lesson to be learned there...

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Post Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 9:19 pm 

I've convinced my wife to try, largely on the basis of the fact that a friend of hers (a fellow gamer's wife) is also trying.  It's real touch and go.  Each time she plays, she seems to have fun, but then says she's not sure whether she'll play again...but then she'll play the next time.  Sort of like Dread Pirate Roberts' "Good night I'll probably kill you in the morning."

I keep hoping she'll find that magic sword or kill that baddie or whatever it will take to set the hook.


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Post Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 7:25 am 

My wife's been playing for ~12 years, on and off. Still a novice tho' :-)

Our current Friday group (TofEE) is 2 couples and my wife; I'm DM.

However, I don't know of any females who play without their partners.



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Post Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:20 am 

We had a solo girl play in one of are sessions once!  She was very overweight, obnoxious and not invited back for another session.

On a nicer note we used to have 3 girls in our group, now it is down to only one and that is my wife.

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Post Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:09 pm 

tsrart wrote:That she didn't a) divorce me or b) slaughter me in my sleep is still an item of no small amazement to me . . . .


Two words sum you up: Hard Core :)

My wife actually, has gamed longer than I have!!  She started around 1979-1980, and I did not start till 1989.  It does help that she older than me though...:)

There are no bad editions of D&D, just Boring Players and Unimaginative DMs.

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