Formerly laughable item descriptions • Page 94 • Collecting General • The Acaeum

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Formerly laughable item descriptions
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Author

Zenopus
Verbose Collector

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Location: Portown

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 2:33 pm

"Extra Fine - Some small wear on edges."

** expired/removed eBay auction **

The entire bottom edge is photobleached about 1/2 inch.

Guess who?

killjoy32
Grandstanding Collector

Posts: 8241
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Last Visit: Mar 24, 2024
Location: Wallasey, Merseyside, UK

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 2:51 pm

maybe thats extra fine on their condition list and utter bollocks on everyone elses

Are we nearly there yet?

gyg
Verbose Collector

Posts: 1921
Joined: Mar 26, 2004
Last Visit: Apr 18, 2024
Location: UK

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:41 pm

** expired/removed eBay auction **

Words fail me - anyone got any words they feel are relevant here!? :lol:

bclarkie
Grandstanding Collector
Acaeum Donor

Posts: 6455
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Last Visit: Apr 20, 2023

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:52 pm

gyg wrote:
** expired/removed eBay auction **

Words fail me - anyone got any words they feel are relevant here!?

Cougar absolutely HAS to be the only person that I know that would actually try to pass off Play-doh as feckin D&D minitures. :roll:

I am totally speechless.....

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." -Neitzche

Kosh Vorlontay
Prolific Collector

Posts: 772
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Last Visit: Jun 22, 2018
Location: Spokane, WA

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:55 pm

gyg wrote:
** expired/removed eBay auction **

Words fail me - anyone got any words they feel are relevant here!?

It might be....
....It could be...
....IT IS...
....the Cougie has finally put together more than one coherent sentence!

BRAVO....let us bask in the glory of his coherency!!!!!

Seriously...WTF!!!

Doesn't he know that sily putty and food die do the same thing?

Next he will try to sell real dog poo as fake funny dog poo!

"Ah, you seek meaning? Then listen to the music, not the song."

"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

Kosh Vorlontay
Prolific Collector

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Location: Spokane, WA

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:58 pm

Damn it bclarkie....stop typing so fast...now I sound redundentted....reddunttent......(pull out cougie dictionary)...oh it's speld "duh"?!

Badmike
Grandstanding Collector
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Posts: 8027
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Last Visit: Apr 20, 2024
Location: DFW TX

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 7:59 pm

bclarkie wrote:

Cougar absolutely HAS to be the only person that I know that would actually try to pass off Play-doh as feckin D&D minitures. I am totally speechless.....

The only person more retarded than Cougie is anyone who would bid on this....
Here is the description....it really deserves to be digested in all it's inarticulant glory...

I started making my own models when I could not find the ones I wanted to play my own games with. If my players guess correctly what the things are meant to be I make more. I have not made any for a while as I have moved house, home & business, & have been too busy redecorating two houses, but now with a little more time i have started the proceedure again. I make the models from anything i can find that suits the model. clay, pastic, wood, metal, anything. THEY ARE NOT TOYS & SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN TO MINORS, I ACCEPT NO RESPONSIBILITY IF THEY ARE NOT USED/GIVEN WISELY ONCE THEY LEAVE MY POSSESSION. would make great presents. If you are unhappy with the item once it arrives please contact me before leaving anything but +FB I am sure we can sort it out, especially as it would just be esthetics. There are many items pictured this auction is for only the one stated, my camera is no good so please dont bother wasting my time & yours asking for better pictures, I cannot do them....yet. thanks for understanding The elf drow that appears is for size only & not included in the sale. This auction is for ALL THE SLIMES/ OOZES/ JELLIES LISTED. CREATURE, OF THE CLEAN UP CREW AS PER SCAN, WHICH SHOWS VARIOUS VERSIONS OF SLIMES, FUNGI, JELLY, MOLDS, MOULDS, & OOZES , COLOUR VARIATIONS BLACK,PUDDING, , RED, ( FIRE, LAVA), WHITE, PUDDING, BROWN PUDDING/ FUNGUS, YELLOW MOLD, MOULD, PURPLE OOZE, GREEN SLIME, BLUE OZZE, OCHRE JELLY, WIZARD IS NOT INCLUDED IN THE SALE & IS FOR SCALE REFERANCE ONLY.

HERES THE CLEVER PART, THESE MODLES ARE NOT AND WILL NEVER SET HARD, YES THEY ARE & WILL REMIAN MALLEABLE. SO YOU CAN SHAPE THEM, & SHAPE THEM & SHAPE THEM AGAIN. AND AGAIN TO WHAT EVER SIZE YOU NEED. YOU CAN COMBINE TWO OR MORE TO MAKE BIGGER ONES, COLOUR VARIATIONS, EVEN STRIPY ONES, ETC. THEY CAN BE THE EXACT SIZE AND SHAPE OF THE CREATURE YOU WANT, AND CHANGE NEXT TIME YOU NEED IT. YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO BUY ANOTHER CLEAN UP CREW MONSTER EVER AGAIN. YOU CAN EVEN DRAPE THESE OVER THE ACTUAL MINIATURES WHEN THEY GET SWALLOWED OR ENGULFED. WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA. WILL LAST FOR YEARS AND NEVER SET HARD. CAN EVEN BE USED FOR SCENERY,. WALLS, (PRISMATIC, THORNS, ICE, ETC) OR SPELL EFFECTS, (FLAMING SPHERE, BIGBY'S VARIOUS HAND SPELLS, ETC) WOULD EVEN SHAP INTO GOLEMS AT A PUSH, AND YOU CAN DECAPITATE THEM AS YOU KILL THEM, AND MASH THEM, AND JUST REBUILD THEM LATER, NO HARM DONE. WHAT OTHER MODLE CAN YOU DO THAT TO ? (WELL MAYBE THE COMMONS FORM THE WOTC, LOL) PLEASE ASK ANY QUESTIONS BEFORE BIDDING. i WOULD BE WILLING TO SELL ENTIRE SETS / COLOURS OR MULTIPLES AFTER THE AUCTION FOR THE HIGHEST PRICE TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER ONLY VIA EBAY SECOND CHANCE OFFERS OF COURSE ONLY.

The joke is, of course, that the items Cougie has for sale are pieces of Playdoh and clay......and perhaps his own waste products?

Mike B.

"THE MORE YOU THINK ABOUT WHY i DONE WHAT i DONE THE MORE i LAUGH" Cougar
"The Acaeum hates fun" Sir Allen
"I had a collecting emergency" Nogrod
Co-founder of the North Texas RPG Con
NTRPGCON

bclarkie
Grandstanding Collector
Acaeum Donor

Posts: 6455
Joined: Dec 13, 2004
Last Visit: Apr 20, 2023

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:46 pm

Kosh Vorlontay wrote:Damn it bclarkie....stop typing so fast...now I sound redundentted....reddunttent......(pull out cougie dictionary)...oh it's speld "duh"?!

Sorry 'bout that. :oops:

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." -Neitzche

bclarkie
Grandstanding Collector
Acaeum Donor

Posts: 6455
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Last Visit: Apr 20, 2023

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:56 pm

Badmike wrote:
The joke is, of course, that the items Cougie has for sale are pieces of Playdoh and clay......and perhaps his own waste products?

Mike B.

You part of me gets angry when I see this auction and part of me actually feels really bad. I mean we rip the hell out of Cougar, and well for damn good reasons, but when I see an auction like this it kind of makes me feel bad for him just the same.

I think part of it is the fact that you really have to be quite pathetic to try and pass off pieces off pay-doh and silly putty for D&D miniatures and when I say pathetic, I don't necessarily mean "evil" pathertic, I mean really kind of "sad" pathetic. The other part of me that feels bad for him is that you kind of get the impression in his auction description on this one that he really believes what he is saying. I think he put more effort into that auction description than all 300 of his other auctions combined, which kind of gives me the impression that he was really trying. Like I am really kind of a sarcastic prick and really I hold nothing back in most circumstances, I will rip on just about anyone and everyone for just about anything. Of course, thats really just my sense of humor and I mean no harm by it. That said, sometimes I see someone who is trying really hard and still can't do anything right and it kind of makes me sad. I don't know man, that auction has just kind of put me in a weird place when I think about it, thats kind of the place that I am in right now. Seriously.

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." -Neitzche

Kingofpain89
Long-Winded Collector

Posts: 4753
Joined: Oct 31, 2004
Last Visit: Feb 16, 2024
Location: Caddo Mills, TX

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:38 pm

bclarkie wrote:I don't know man, that auction has just kind of put me in a weird place when i think about it, thats kind of the place that I am in right now. Seriously.

Seriously?

All I can say is I hope that whatever goop he is using is non-toxic. If he sells that to some poor 8 year old kid and he eats it (mmmm...black pudding) and has to have his stomach pumped....

Bad, bad kitty.

gyg
Verbose Collector

Posts: 1921
Joined: Mar 26, 2004
Last Visit: Apr 18, 2024
Location: UK

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 11:32 pm

bclarkie wrote:
You part of me gets angry when I see this auction and part of me actually feels really bad. I mean we rip the hell out of Cougar, and well for damn good reasons, but when I see an auction like this it kind of makes me feel bad for him just the same.

.

Some serious deep thinking there from Brian!
I do wonder though why this auction does seem so important to the DM? It goes far beyond his usual stock photo and 'vgc maps included' description.
I think perhaps that it is another example of his deep seated insecurity - I'm just guessing but much of his behaviour points that way.

The thing that I have never understood about him is that he could, potentially, be among the best. He certainly has the product, and seemingly the time and inclination to get through a lot of auctions. I just do not understand why he feels the need to act in such an immature, small minded way all of the time.

I cant help but think that if he opened an ebay shop, priced accordingly and was just plain DECENT then his business would increase accordingly. Surely acting in a reasonable manner rather than going on the offensive all of the time would pay dividends - it certainly wouldn't hurt his feedback (which sucks - as someone here said, every mutual withdrawal is a neg!)

Come on Dave - do yourself, and the D&D world in general a favour, and be NICE (You never know you might find that you like it!)(And post here as well - take the heat like a man and give your point of view, but be NICE)

(And I've specifically avoided mentioning M Bags! :lol:

)

Traveller
Prolific Collector

Posts: 851
Joined: Jun 12, 2004
Last Visit: Apr 16, 2024

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 11:39 pm

This is about as bad as a woman on ebay selling space on her chest for someone to advertise their product.

The Gray Book: My homage to E.G.G.

Star Trek: Alpha Quadrant: The game Mongoose failed to make.

gyg
Verbose Collector

Posts: 1921
Joined: Mar 26, 2004
Last Visit: Apr 18, 2024
Location: UK

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 11:47 pm

Traveller wrote:This is about as bad as a woman on ebay selling space on her chest for someone to advertise their product.

You say this like it's a bad thing! :lol:

Badmike
Grandstanding Collector
Acaeum Donor

Posts: 8027
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Location: DFW TX

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 12:48 am

bclarkie wrote:
You part of me gets angry when I see this auction and part of me actually feels really bad. I mean we rip the hell out of Cougar, and well for damn good reasons, but when I see an auction like this it kind of makes me feel bad for him just the same.

I think part of it is the fact that you really have to be quite pathetic to try and pass off pieces off pay-doh and silly putty for D&D miniatures and when I say pathetic, I don't necessarily mean "evil" pathertic, I mean really kind of "sad" pathetic. The other part of me that feels bad for him is that you kind of get the impression in his auction description on this one that he really believes what he is saying. I think he put more effort into that auction description than all 300 of his other auctions combined, which kind of gives me the impression that he was really trying. Like I am really kind of a sarcastic prick and really I hold nothing back in most circumstances, I will rip on just about anyone and everyone for just about anything. Of course, thats really just my sense of humor and I mean no harm by it. That said, sometimes I see someone who is trying really hard and still can't do anything right and it kind of makes me sad. I don't know man, that auction has just kind of put me in a weird place when I think about it, thats kind of the place that I am in right now. Seriously.

I wish I could spare the compassion, but let's face it, Cougie has chosen his path and from all accounts seems to enjoy being the bad guy that "loses" shipments from the US sent by newbie buyers, after harranguing them to ship by untraceable M-Bag. Every single day he wakes up he can chose to change his life for the better...and every single day he's the same wanker.
Sure Cougie is a pathetic waste of space.....but honestly, most loser tards I've known in my life, when you get to know them, turn out to be pretty pathetic. This is why they use their bullying, arrogance, smarminess, blockheadedness, etc to eff up the lives of everyone around them. Inside they are disappointed in what they have become and when they look in the mirror, they see a piece of crap and don't know how to change. So they continue trundling along as a piece of crap, smelling up everyone's lives who come in contact with them.
I know plenty of people who were going down dark paths...drugs, drinking, promiscuity, even criminal activity...and have managed to turn their lives completely around. I've known just as many that now at age 40+ are fat, bloated, unhealthy, addicted, worthless pieces of junk without a friend in the world (deservedly). The chief difference? You have to want to change, and then you have to actually change. I see nothing in Cougar's actions that lead me to believe he's on that path. On the contrary, he seems to be proud of the fact he's an inarticulate, slobbermouthed narcissist. I learned a long time ago not to spare the time of day for people like that, and instead try to help those who honestly want to better themselves. In Cougie's case, I think he just honestly wants to pass off pieces of playdoh as gaming material, and thinks there is somebody out there stupider than him that might pay a buck for them. Pathetic, sure, but not worth even the minute amount of introspection we've given this inbred cretin. Remember that the next time you see him pass off a polyhedron insert as a rare "RPGA" module...

Mike B.

"THE MORE YOU THINK ABOUT WHY i DONE WHAT i DONE THE MORE i LAUGH" Cougar
"The Acaeum hates fun" Sir Allen
"I had a collecting emergency" Nogrod
Co-founder of the North Texas RPG Con
NTRPGCON

Beyondthebreach
Verbose Collector
Acaeum Donor

Posts: 1709
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Last Visit: Aug 23, 2016
Location: Chandler, AZ

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 9:49 am

I've got to admit . . . I was pretty pissed when I read about this.

Just yesterday, my daughter was working on a similar project and I had already begun comtemplating exposing her work to the ebay market. Now, keep in mind, she is just an amateur (only 2 1/2 years old!) but her work shows definite creative skill.

She calls this piece "Lunch".

[url]

Inspired by her work, I began attempting to forge my own creations. I had been a bit shy, but I feel inspired to share with you the results of my own endeavors:

This piece is called "Two-Armed Roper"

I'm particulary proud of this duo - I don't fancy coming across these scary guys in a Dungeon . . . do you?

I call that one "Water Weird and Piercer".

But, monsters are not the only sculptures I can make. This is a selection of arms & armor. Notably, a crossbow, buckler and Two-Handed Sword (actually, it's a Scottish Claymore similar to the one Mel Gibson wielded in Braveheart . . . but all you medieval enthusiasts could probably tell that right away! )

This one, in particular, gives me chills when I see it: no further explanation is needed for "Severed Head".

This last one . . . I couldn't remember what, exactly, it was . . . however, on further consideration I believe it to be an unformed lump of colored clay.

"Gleemonex makes it feel like it's seventy-two degrees in your head... all... the... time! "

JohnGaunt
Sage Collector

Posts: 2332
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Last Visit: Aug 27, 2017
Location: Shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 9:52 am

bclarkie wrote:Cougar absolutely HAS to be the only person that I know that would actually try to pass off Play-doh as feckin D&D minitures. I am totally speechless.....

As an aside, Play-Doh would harden in the air. Coug's 'minis' are made from some other common modeling clay.

I think he's having some fun with the auction. I pray that his auction is a joke. Those wacky Englishmen and their sense of humo(u)r.

I just asked him "Are these true 25mm scale, or are they 28mm?". If he posts the Q&A in the auction, then we'll know if he is joking or if he has gone off the rails . . .

le Rahib
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Location: Lille, France.

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 10:00 am

Beyondthebreach wrote:Inspired by her work, I began attempting to forge my own creations. I had been a bit shy, but I feel inspired to share with you the results of my own endeavors.

Dear seller, do you have a BIN in mind for the "two-armed ropper"?
As I live oustide the US, I will ask you permission for bidding for your items. I use paypal and will cover the shipping costs. (M bags?)
Thanks for reading, best regards.

PS : yours are more & more impressive than Couggie's!

That is just crazy.

Zenopus
Verbose Collector

Posts: 1702
Joined: Sep 03, 2003
Last Visit: Mar 31, 2024
Location: Portown

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 10:22 am

*applauds Beyondthebreach*

Bravo!!

How about a Beholder?

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